Hey everyone! I'm finally home from Tech school.  You know what surprised me the most? I actually like the military! I almost wish that i went active, but then again i dont think that i could stand being away from Ben that long.  You know, the two of us have had our differences, and i tried to leave him at christmas, but that didn't work out, i just missed him way too much, and i thought about leaving him againa few times since then, but i'm soo glad that I didn't leave him.  He's so great, and as long as i'm not away he doesn't freak out on me. I do have to admit it can be (and was very VERY) trying to have a boyfirend that doesn't want me to have any friends that i hang out with when he's not there, but i love him and i guess we'll always bump hgeads about that, but i'll just have to face each instance when it comes.  i have a feeling that we might bump again this weekend, b/c he told me last night that he doesn't want me hanging out with two of my best friends here at home (Megan and Connie) with out him cuz he doesn't think I can behave myself, which I honestly think differently, but come on! I jsut got off the military leash! I want to let loose a little!! I'll get over it here soon. Anyway, maybe i'll just have to stifle my first urge to go a little wild cuz Ben doesn't like it.  i suppose i can handle it bc i love him.  well, i have to update some of my securtity stuff on my Air Force ID card before i get off so i'll try to write again soon! L8er! Oh and hey i got my cell on all the time so if anyone wants to call or text me please do it! 419 304 2491!!!! call me! bye!

Rae

ps Ben I love you

Hey everyone, sorry i'm not writing much, it's kinda hard when you dont have a working comp at your hosue anymroe (mine is sick so my grandpa took it home and is fixing it).  Well, i've haven't been doing a wole ton of a lot, jsut getting ready for boot camp.  tuesday i went up to Slefridge ANG (that is my home base, it's in Mount Clemens Mich, right above detroit) and i out processed.  That took all frigging day! i swear! and i got lost in the bad part of detroit on my way there! that was scary! i walk into this mcdonalds to ask for directions and i'm the only white person within a ten mile radius and they all seriously stopped what they were doing and stared at me for a minute liek what the heck...lol then the big black guy in line behind me herad me asking for a certain road and was all like hey i'm going there you can follow me...and i thougth..hmm one of two things can happen here, i will follow this guy and find my road...or i will follow this guy to a secluded area and get raped and killed...i'll take my chances and hope for the road.lol i can't belive i did that, but hey i ended up on the road so that's all that matters right?  well dinner's done here at the alters gotta go! bye!

Rae

Whoo hooo!!! I'm finally done working at Root's!!!! lol, Friday was my last day but then today was fall feed at work and know what we had, chicken, know where it came from, Root's. lol.  The church shoulda had me order the chicken for them, i get a discount on everything i buy there (even now i do cuz my mom still works there lol), but oh well.  Today was pretty much a nothing day, i delivered some Mary kay after church, then hung out at Ben's all day.  Well, i'll prolly update again later this week since i dont have to work during the day i can go to the library.  oh yeah yesterday Ben and i went to halloweekends at Cedar Point, it was fun but i get really freaked out and kinda annoyed him cuz i kept trying to stay where they monsters wouldn't jump at me and pulling him with me so he didn't get scared much at all.  Well, if you read this leave me some love! lol! later!

Hey people! I feel so loved! lol! I looked at my site for the first time in along time today(we'll get to that), and found i have like 5 or 7 (i dont remember, hey it's been a long day), subscribers.  That's kinda neat.  That means that even if I NEVER get any comments i still have ppl reading this...that's a nice thought...but...LEAVE ME SOME LOVE!!! lol!

Anyway, the reason no one has seen me online or heard from me online in a while is becuase my computer is really REALLY gay! It apparently got sick from a game my little brother tried to load (my dad's friend burnt a game for him and now when you go to start the computer it all loads up fine and all but after all the little icons in the right hand coner finish loading (in that little gray bar), then the comp shuts down and restarts and has to run that scan cuz windows isn't shut down right and then it all happens again and again and it's a vicious cycle! i think i'm just gonna throw it out the window, the window, the second story window...(you remember that song? i used to hate it with a pssion when i was a little kid, jsut cuz it's so stupid and all the other kids liked it so yeah, i had to balance it all out by hateing it. lol)  Anyway, now i get on here at Ben's or like today i'm at the elmore library. 

Hmm, what else..oh! this is good and bad..This is my last week at Roots! after friday i will never again work there as long as i live! i'd rather be poor!!! that is good, but the bad thing is i still have 4 more days lol! i hate that place so much i have been temped to sprain my ankle on purpose recently so i wouldn't have to go, but then i worried it wouldnt' be better in time for boot camp so i didn't, otherwise i totally would have. But it was a long day there today, as the rest of the week will be cuz we are short 2 ppl til wed (3 today but one comes back tomarrow) and then we'll be short all week one person.  I hate it there.  I will never be able to cook a chicken like that in my home cuz the smell will remind me and make me "throw it out the window" hehe

I'm soo pooped...oh i got my officail letter from the base i'll be stationed at when i get home (Selfridge), and the letter was my orders to go to boot camp...wow now it is officail, i have to go, no backing out now...i'm scared...lol...once i'm done working i'm gonna start running like a marthon runner person lol and i'm gonna learn how to do push ups....(anyone wanna teach me cuz i duno how and i should really learn before i get to texas lol, the drill sargents may not be so friendly when they teach me and one  of you might be lol)

I think I'm PMSing too cuz i've been really bitchy lately and i feel bad.  Yesterday Ben (sorry to talk about you again ben but it's the best example i have of this) kissed me kinda hard and it hurt against my retainer and i got mad and gave him a titty twister and then elbowed him in the balls (not hard tho i promise, just enough to hurt a bit, tho i was mad enough to punch him) . And it was dumb b/c he didn't mean to and he didn't know it would hurt, he's never had hard wire in his mouth, but i'm jsut soo moody..and the other day i dreamt he's an alien and he had to leave before i left for bootcamp and i woke up and cireed for a half hour.  Then was pissy at him.  I'm sorry Ben...geeze i wish i would not have crazy girl emotions...all day today i could tell i had raging emotions...i wanted to yell at and beat up everyone and wanted to cry whenever they told me to do something...DO YOU KNOW HOW DRAINING IT IS TO HAVE EMOTIONS LIKE THAT!!! wow!

ok well they are closing the library so i gotta go! bye! thanks for reading! leave me a comment damn it! lol!

Rae

Wow! Yesterday was Eryn's 18th birthday! That was a night to remember! lol! We rented her a Romanian cop and had some pizza and refreshments. hehe.  It was fun I hadn't hung out with girls like that in a long time.  I'm so used to hanging out with mostly guys (though i can't say i mind that at all), I almost forgot how to hang out with the girls...until Eryn and Megan initiated me, hehe      Then Megan, "Eryn's gonna puke!"  Eryn  "No i'm not....(sounds of puking)...hmmm...When'd I eat chicken??" LMAO  and Megan changing all of Eryn's clothes except for her bra and neon green thong lol!!

Now it's the next day and Ben's mad at me....well...i guess i deserve it....I'm not proud of all that i did last night, it was fun, I admit, but i didn't put a whole lot of thought into my actions.  I feel guilty and dirty and hungry so I'm going to go eat and shower and think of a good way to make it up to Ben before i spend two hours in the car with his parents ont he way to his band competition...that should be fun...his parents are weird and they scare me! oh well, i gotta go!

Ben I'm sorry, you know i love you and i need you, I'll make it up to you somehow...I promise.

I feel like an aweful person today.

Rae